


Dorian's First Adventure and Other Journal Entries

by StoleTarts



Series: Dragon Age: A How-To Guide [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Diary/Journal, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Prequel, Romance, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:50:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoleTarts/pseuds/StoleTarts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of journal entries written by the Tevinter mage, Dorian Pavus, throughout his lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Young Dorian looked flabbergasted as the smaller mage boy took him by the hand and asked, “ _Do you want to go on an adventure?_ ”

They spent the rest of the day climbing trees in the courtyard and pretending to be explorers discovering ancient ruins filled with buried treasure. He came back to us covered in dirt with scraped knees and chipped tooth! That is the last time we’ll be visiting the lesser nobles in the Free Marches, specifically the Trevelyans." _- **From the desk of House Pavus before the Fifth Blight.**_

 

"Upon entering the ancient elven fortress, we discovered a chest of artifacts and several pieces of broken pottery which may be the key to deciphering the glyphs we saw carved into the trees. I was then overtaken by a wild mabari guarding the treasure and fell into the spider pit! There was blood everywhere as my tooth shattered from the fall, but the Trevelyan boy saved me! 

…More healing spells should be given in kisses...” - ** _From the journal of Dorian Pavus before the Fifth Blight_**.

 

“As we crawled out of the dank cave, Vesper laughed as he teased me about our time as children. “ _Your high-pitched squeal around spiders is the same as ever_ ,” he said. “ _I’m glad to see some things haven’t changed._ ”

I promptly educated him on how giant insects dislike such noises and it is simply a defense mechanism. While he may have ignored my helpful advice, he did kiss me on the cheek to heal a scratch there. 

...Yes, I am also glad some things have not changed.” **- _From the journal of Dorian Pavus during the Inquisition._**


	2. Chapter 2

“I saw him again in Redcliffe, the Trevelyan boy. He stood in front of me with piercing eyes and a smug grin that has remained unchanged since we were children.

I do not use _piercing_ lightly.

They looked at me, then through me, not recognizing who I was. I didn’t dare remind him then. Who would trust the scrawny, frightened boy with a chipped tooth to be of any use now?” - _ **From the journal of Dorian Pavus during the Redcliffe Mage Occupation**_

 

" _I'll protect you_ , I said of all things.

I had immediately given myself away by reciting the same foolish line I did as a young boy. Me protect him? Regret came on swift wings as his eyes gave away his thoughts. I had been found out. Whatever suit of emotional armor I had decided to put on to save myself from eventual rejection has already been cracked. How hard will I need to pray to the Maker in order not to fall to pieces when he discovers my true self?"

**- _From the journal of Dorian Pavus before the attack on Haven._**

"We kissed.

I half-expected it to be out of curiosity. To touch another man's lips with your own for the first time is a thrilling experience for any gender, I would imagine, but it was not a playful gesture of friendly affection nor a forced act that was jerked away from in utter disgust. It was...soft. He smiled with fingers running through my hair, down my sides, and past my buttocks to give the flesh a gentle squeeze. Still holding me close, he looked me in the eyes and said, " _Your mustache tickles."_

Of course, before I could either laugh or feel fully insulted, he kissed me again. It seems as if time can stand still without magic after all." - _ **From the journal of Dorian Pavus while at Skyhold.**_


	3. Bonus Chapter: Letters written by Vesper Trevelyan, Seren Hawke, and Cullen Rutherford

"A strange thing happened today. Well, something even I would consider strange.

When Dorian and I returned to Skyhold from the Fade with you, he yelled at me for falling in the first place.

That's right. As loud as he could for everyone to hear. Namely it was for disappearing from his view as the fortress collapsed and for that split-second, he thought I was dead.

It made him angry and he was nearly in tears, though I'm was happy he was. It means he loves me, right?

Could use a bit of fatherly advice on this one." - _ **A letter from Vesper Trevelyan to Seren Hawke.**_

__

"I don't know. Go ask Cullen about crazy mages. He's an expert. 

Don't tell him I said that.

In the few hours I've known Dorian, he completely confirmed and disproved everything I knew about Tevinter.

In a few seconds after meeting him though, he confirmed that he's madly in love with you.

As someone with a terrible track record in romances, I know what it feels like to love someone and be afraid they do not or cannot feel the same way. Anders never believed I loved him either, so show Dorian that you do.

Show him with every fiber of your being. Hold nothing back. Don't leave room for any doubt." _**-A reply from Seren Hawke to the Inquisitor.**_

 

"He showed me the letter. Your jokes are still terrible even after all these years.

Just so you know, I approve of Dorian. He's a strong, capable man with good intentions. He reminds me of you in that regard, though twice as sassy and better groomed.

I've enclosed a token that always finds its way back to me. I'm giving it to you, for luck and so I know you'll return safely with it. Once brought back, I may be willing to exchange it for that piece of your heart I stole."  _ **-A reply from Cullen Rutherford to Seren Hawke with an imprint of a type of coin embedded on the page.**_

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“My amulet was returned to me, but not by my own hand. Vesper put himself in a position to be used for my mistake.

He doesn’t understand what he has agreed to. He doesn’t deserve to be burdened by the things I’ve done wrong.

Even after I explained all of this, he looked at me with a smile. He placed the amulet in my hand, curling his fingers over mine.

He wanted to help me, he then said. This wasn’t a favor or a debt to be repaid. He wants me to be happy. 

I don’t deserve him.” _ **- From the Journal of Dorian Pavus while visiting Orlais.**_

 

 

“I caught him staring today out at the black void. His eyes seemed so far away and unfocused. He was looking towards the warden fortress, the direction he last saw his father head towards. I put an arm around his shoulder, feeling awkward as I reassured him Hawke would be alright. 

He didn’t respond, only leaned into my embrace. When did I become someone to rely on, I wonder?

Is this what love is?

Feeling your strongest and most vulnerable at the same time?

Having to constantly juggle both fear and bravado?

So far, it’s been the most terrible and wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced.” _**-  From the Journal of Dorian Pavus after the recapturing of Adamant.**_

 

 

“I almost lost him to a well.

Isn’t that something?

First, it was nearly to time travel, then Templars, then a falling bridge into the Fade, and now, a well. A magical elf well holding the secrets of the ancients, at that.

I want to believe that I saved him from whatever curse was upon it.

I want to say that telling him my fears for him is what stopped him from drinking those tainted waters.

Am I allowed to take this sort of credit?

Can I safely assume that I need to be by his side for the rest of our lives if just to stop him from making stupid decisions?

...Should I add that last bit in my wedding vows?”  _ **\-  From the Journal of Dorian Pavus after exploring the Temple of Mythal.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains Trespasser DLC mentions and spoilers in regards to Dorian X Trevelyan's romance

“We did it.

We won.

We defeated the great evil we set out to defeat and lived to tell about it.

For a while there, a short while, I had my doubts. I didn’t doubt in Vesper’s ability, but in mine. I had no idea how the outcome would turn out and honestly didn’t care, so long as he was safe. Imagine my surprise when I witnessed the fall of Corypheus and curled up in bed with the man I loved that very same night. Of course, we couldn’t sleep. We were far too busy being entangled in each other’s limbs and planning out future for sleep to come. When it did, however, we awoke the next day when a new sense of hope and wonderment.

I’m still smiling, Maker save me.” _ **- From the Journal of Dorian Pavus while after Corypheus' defeat in Skyhold.**_

 

“A letter came today which I dreaded opening. It was from my father, and more so, it was actually directed to me this time. He wants me to come home.

It’s hard to even say the word and not think of Vesper. Yes, my homeland will always been Tevinter, but is my _home_ still there…?”  _ **- From the Journal of Dorian Pavus two years after later.**_

 

“I return to the South today, though not for as long as I had planned. It’s been four, nearly five weeks since I’ve seen him. Words fails to describe how much I want him in my arms. To bury myself in his snowy hair and breathe in his scent. The trinkets I smuggled away have lost their warmth and smell. They are no longer a substitute for the real thing.

Yet, I dread seeing him. I dread seeing him, looking into his jade eyes, and watching his heart break from what I have to say. I always thought it would be quite the opposite. That he’d grow tire of me and cast me aside.  But no, I am the villain here. I made promises I can’t keep and must pretend this is for the best.”  _ **- From the Journal of Dorian Pavus roughly a month after leaving Skyhold on the return trip from Tevinter.**_

 

“…That…did not go the way I planned.

Thanks to Varric, my very sensitive information in regards to my Magistership was leaked in the most insensitive way.

I tried.

I tried to explain how at least we could stay in contact through crystal, but he smashed it! He took it from my hands, threw it to the ground, and stomped it with his boot! He then told me how terrible I was for not knowing him if I thought my poor attempts to pacify his hurt feelings would work.

That’s just the thing! I knew they wouldn’t! I absolutely knew and tried anyway…but then he told me of his plans to dissolve the Inquisition regardless. He loves me, he said. He wanted to be with me, that’s all.

He then reminded me of his father and Cullen. How they waited a lifetime to be together because it was better for everyone else if they weren’t. Better for everyone, except them. They were miserable for nearly twenty whole years.

He didn’t want that with us. He didn’t want to wait until it was politically convenient. I look to Cullen and Hawke now and see their youthful eyes, but aged bodies. The faints of grey hair in the commander’s golden locks are there. The smile lines creased into Hawke’s cheeks are there. I…want to see these as they appear, not when they’ve been there for some time. I want to kiss Vesper’s lips every day so I do not even notice when these lines do arrive.

Oh, did I mention that he proposed?

With a ring he found in the fountain. That's so like him. So, I’m currently wearing some poor Orlesian noble’s lost piece of gaudy jewelry and I dare them to try to claim it from me.”  _ **- From the Journal of Dorian Pavus at the Winter Palace.**_


	6. Bonus Chapter - The Ring in the Fountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vesper Trevelyan rejects Dorian's offer to carry out a long-distance relationship

“This?” Vesper asked enraged as he held the crystal between his fingers given to him by Dorian. “This  _rock_  is what you’re seriously giving me after telling me you’re leaving for Tevinter! Permanently! AND I’m not to follow you?”

“Well, it’s not a rock. It’s an exceptionally rare magical crystal which allows you to… Fasta vass! Why would you do that?!” As Dorian tried to explain, his eyes traced the motion of it being dropped to the ground and crushed under the Inquisitor’s heel.

“You know nothing about me at all if you think I would agree to these half-arsed terms! Did you really think that I was going to just stand here and let you sweet talk me into believing that I want  _this_? THIS, Dorian?!” The new magister pressed his lips together as they quivered, his eyes filling with the water he had been trying to suppress.

“…I do know you,” he spoke softly. “I’ve known you since we were children. I waited every day after we met to see you again. I pined for you as I sat in Redcliffe. I scanned every mage refugee in hopes of seeing you again. When you finally came, I only ever feared of losing you once more. …This…isn’t what I want either…but what choice do we have? I must do this for my homeland, Vesper, and the Inquisition needs you…”

“I’m dissolving it, Dorian. I’ve already made up my mind about that.”

“What? But you can’t? Surely, especially not for me…”

“Why not for you?” Vesper asked as he took a step forward, the crystal’s remains crunching as he stepped. “I love you.  _You_  are what I want. We set out to fix a problem and we have. We did it. My place isn’t here. I’m not even  _from_ here,” he laughed with a shrug and took Dorian’s left hand with his own. “…Do you know why my father and Cullen refuse to leave each other’s side now?” Dorian smirked as he wiped a tear away with his right.

“Because they look so damn good together? It’s almost blinding.” Vesper had to smile at that, but shook his head. 

“No,” he sighed. “It’s because they spent almost twenty years apart because it was in the best interest of everyone else. It was best for other mages to not see their hero involved with a Templar. It was best for Cullen not to be punished by the Order for loving a mage. It was best for everyone but themselves…and I’m not going to repeat their mistake. I’m not going to wait two decades to be with the man I love. The man…I’m going to marry.” Slipping a hand into his pocket, a small silver ring was removed from there. “Cassandra congratulated me on my engagement to you today because Varric whispered the idea in her head. It truth, I had already been thinking about it, but maybe now is as good as any to make it official.”

“…Where did you get that ring?”

“Found it in the fountain.” Dorian snickered and wiped a second tear away.

“You’re telling me I’m being proposed to with a found Orlesian noble’s missing jewelry you fished out of the water?”

“Pretty much, yes. I’ll tell you what. Once we get to Tevinter, I’ll buy you one that doesn’t reek of ham and despair.” Dorian looked up, his eyes still glazed over.

“Vesper, I don’t think you should…”

“Wasn’t asking for permission. I’ll be there and you’ll be there. We might as well share a room and bed, right? You’re a bit of a mess anyway and I haven’t enough coin to find myself a decent place.”

“…I thought this was a proposal, not an interview for you to be a housekeeper.”

“So, I won’t do your laundry…” The teasing chatter was stopped as Dorian leaned in for a kiss.

“Yes.”

“Yes to being your housekeeper or…?”

“That too.  _You are the man I love, Amatus. Nothing will keep us apart._ ”


	7. Bonus 2: Return to the Winter Palace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen finds himself strangely alone when the Orlesian nobles decide to hound the Champion of Kirkwall instead of him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crosspost from Cullen and His Lingering Regrets.  
> Originally written before Trespasser DLC was announced so oddly fits into the story now.  
> Commissioned Seren Hawke and Cullen Rutherford two years after DAI (just before the Trespasser DLC) Art!  
> https://40.media.tumblr.com/13b2f8f2895cfaef64e0f8dc4e5294b4/tumblr_nun5w9Rxo51sffp23o1_1280.jpg

“It’s strange to see you alone at one of these balls, Cullen,” Cassandra commented as she stood next to the commander while he nursed a glass of red wine. “You were nearly overrun with suitors at the last gathering.”

“That’s because they have their eyes set on someone new,” Leliana, now known as Divine Victoria, teased as she turned towards the crowd on the other side of the room. There, Seren Hawke was being flocked by several Orlesian nobles, all asking his questions of his heroic deeds and laughing in unison when he delivered the punchline to his dirty jokes. When he finally locked eyes with Cullen, his expression changed to a questionably cry for help. The ex-Templar only smiled though, raising his glass as if to wish his lover good luck.

“It’s nice to have a bit of breathing room. Nothing he can’t handle on his own.” Hawke’s expression soured though when his visual request was denied and huffed.

“Will you honor me with a dance?” a young woman wearing a long-nosed mask then asked him.

“Of course he won’t, you ugly troll. He’s dancing with me!” an older nobleman rebutted. Hawke laughed, putting his hands up as he tried to calm the situation.

“I’m afraid I cannot dance with you… Either of you,” he gently turned the demands down.

“No? Why not?” a different masked woman asked.

“Yes, why not?!” asked another.

“Well, you see,” Seren began as he looked to Cullen once again, but was only smiled at. “I shall explain, so please everyone. Follow me.” With that, he side-stepped to walk across the room with his entourage whispering as their small shoes tapped on the marble tiles close behind. Cullen looked surprised, lowering his spent cup as the crowd came towards him. “The thing is, I promised Commander Rutherford here the first dance of the evening. Unfortunately, until he makes time for me, I am simply unavailable.”

“Perhaps the commander has time for you now,” Cassandra suggested, knowing full well she was encouraging Hawke’s devious plan.

“Yes, he is free now,” Leliana added as she smoothly took the empty glass from Cullen’s fingers as he stammered.

“But, I… Maker,” he laughed and straightened his posture. “Will you do me the honor of having this next dance, Serrah Hawke?” he bowed formally.

“Certainly, Commander. It would be my pleasure,” Seren returned the gesture and took the offered hand. He tried not to laugh when he waved farewell to his fans as he was pulled down the stairs onto the dancefloor.

“You…are so terrible,” Cullen teased as he placed a firm grip around Hawke’s waist once they were out of earshot from the antsy Orlesians. “Were you planning that little show of yours from the start?” Hawke was spun out and back in in time with the music, but embraced his partner from behind upon his return.

“I figured either two things would happen,” he whispered into Cullen’s ear. “Either you’d actually dance with me or create a good excuse to find a dark corner somewhere to hide in. Either way would have been fine with me. Figured we’d fool around before some random assassins sprung out or we stumble across a dead body at least. Things like that always happen when I go to fancy parties.” There was a chuckle and Cullen turned to once again to be face-to-face, retaking the lead.

“You described the last time I was here perfectly, but this is much better. So far, at least, and I have you clinging to me instead of those brown-nosers over there.” Before Hawke could protest as to who was clinging to whom, he was kissed for the entire court and any nearby contract killers to see.


End file.
